I Don't Like Classics
by Professor Cheesecake
Summary: A blonde, a latina, bad dreams and confusing ones. Warning: It starts out insanely crack-ish. Could make a little more sense if you've read 'She Noticed', but honestly doesn't matter either way so long as you watch Danny Phantom and/or Glee.


**Hi! My name is Professor Cheesecake, formerly known as Silvertongue's Daughter. I was trying to write for my Danny Phantom story called 'She Noticed' but I was truly and honestly stuck. So I really just started typing for the sake of typing, and it turned into an actual story. Not the story I was originally _trying_ to write, but I suppose it could be considered part of the same universe-ish sort of? Meh. It could go along with it. Doesn't have to if you don't want it to, or if you've never read it (although I certainly recommend reading it). **

** Also, I've never shipped Brittana before, but I turned myself into a Brittana shipper by accident. Is that weird? It's weird, isn't it? Still a Klaine fan forever, though. **

"_Hey Starr, you know what? Why don't you worship me on the way back to school." said Paulina and Starr slapped her and walked away. Instead she went and said asked Fenton (no wait his name is Danny) out on a date but he said, "Uh, no, I'm sorry Starr but I'm kind of dating Sam? And Sam is really cool and awesome and shit and I barely know you?" so Starr frowned but understood, and Tucker said "why don't WE go on a date instead!" and Starr figured out that she probably needed some time to be single anyway, because she's had a boyfriend and just broke up with him so that was unfortunate, and decided that she didn't need Fenton (DANNY!) and his badgers and would rather do back flips and say '!' so she moved to Ohio and transferred to McKinley high school and joined the Cheerios with Sue Sylvester, and made friends with Brittany S. Pierce because she really is such a sweetie-pie and Brittany told her all about the Glee club and about how they needed more members so Starr joined Glee club and made friends with Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson and she never got a solo because her voice sucks (and never magically improves the way Mike Chang's and Brittany's did) and also made friends with Sugar Motta because they have a lot in common, because they're both actually sweet people but they come across as very superficial at first. She then started dating Artie Abrams because she learned not to judge people by their social status and they got married two months later and Starr had never been so happy and rallied for gay rights and the LGBTQ community for Kurt, Blaine, Santana, Brittany and a billion other gay people, and when Kurt went off to NYADA she comforted Blaine who was sad and lonely and then that year at Nationals (for Cheerleading, duh) she met Paulina again and Michelle was her new satellite and Starr had so much more self esteem than her so she just laughed in their faces while she did a triple back flip and Paulina burst into tears because she couldn't even come close to doing that. _

And then Brittany woke up. She blinked in confusion and fumbled around in the dark for her phone. Her fingers found their way around the android phone within seconds, and she fumbled around with it until Santana's profile showed up on her screen. She hit 'call'.

It rang three times before Santana's voice filled her ears. "Britt," she said slowly, voice weighed down by sleep, "boo, did you have a nightmare? Or?"

"No," replied Brittany, her own voice puzzled, "I had a really..._weird_ dream, though." Her voice lilted up at the end, as if she were asking a question.

"Okay," said Santana, sounding much more awake now, and the shuffling sounds of her moving around on her bed could be heard in the background. "What was it about, hun?"

Brittany thought back for a moment. "You know your cousin Paulina? And her friend Starr?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah I do. Why?"

"Well I had a dream that Starr didn't like badgers. And that she moved here and joined the Cheerios. Is that weird?"

"No, not really, Britt. I mean, dreams are always weird, so, well, I guess it sort of is, but as far as dreams go, that one's pretty normal sounding."

"So," Brittany shifted to a more comfortable position, "Starr..._isn't_ on the Cheerios?"

"No."

"Oh."

"That's all?"

"Well, um, yeah." She hesitated, "can you...sing to me? The way you do when I actually do have a nightmare?"

Santana giggled. "Yeah, yeah, sure. Any requests?"

"Mmmmmm, surprise me."

It was silent on the other end of the line, before Santana slowly began to sing,

"_L is for the way you, look at me_

_O is for the only one, one that I see,_

_V is very very, extraordinary,_

_E, it's even more than you adore and,"_

"Are those the right words?"

"I don't know. This song has been stuck in my head since I overheard Blaine humming it earlier today."

"So you're singing me Blaine's song?"

"No, it's popular; it was just on my mind. Do you not like it?"

"I like it. Can you continue?"

"Of course, babe."

"_Love, it's all that I can give, to you..."_

* * *

><p>Starr woke up to the sound of her phone blasting Justin Bieber's newest song in her ears. She jumped, and snatched her phone up and jammed her finger into the phone, harder than necessary. "Hi!" she exclaimed breathlessly.<p>

"Starr? Are you there?" Paulina's voice was small, and Starr tried to slow her heartbeat down, feeling ridiculous for working herself up so much over her own ringtone.

"Yeah, yeah. Um, Paulina, what, uh, what's wrong?" asked Starr, trying to differentiate between the real world and the (very very strange and disturbingly vivid) dream she just had.

"I had a nightmare, Starr. It was, I just, I mean. It was awful."

Starr tried to find it in herself to care. "Right, um. So, what happened?"

Paulina paused, her shaky breaths coming in through the phone. "I don't remember."

Starr stayed silent and waited for Paulina to say something else.

"Starr?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you comfort me?"

"How?"

The sound of Paulina typing on her laptop sounded through the phone. "I don't know," she said, pitifully, "could you think of something, pretty please?"

Starr sighed. "You want me to sing for you or something?"

Paulina squealed. "Would you? Nobody's ever sung for me before!"

Starr sighed quietly, thinking of a song. "Okay, uh, here goes...

"_Call me, irresponsible_

_Call me, unreliable, _

_Throw in, undependable too,_

_Do my, foolish-"_

"I'm feeling better, now, thank you Starr!" Paulina rushed to say. "What kind of song is that anyway? It sounds kind of weird."

"It's a classic."

"Oh. I don't like classics then."

"Are you feeling better, at least?"

"Yeah, yeah. Um, goodnight, Starr!" she chirped.

"Goodnight, Paulina."

The line went dead. Starr breathed a sigh of relief and flopped back on her pillow.

If only she could actually convince her family to uproot itself and move to Ohio...

For now, though, she figured that she ought to at least work on her singing voice. She sounded awful.

**Fun fact: The beginning originally said "Gah-reetings Starrlight why don't we go have some gay sezzy times right right right", but then I realised that Starr probably wouldn't dream that. So I replaced it with what it is now, which is "why don't you worship me on the way back to school". **

**So, I hope you enjoy, and I hope you review, and check out 'She Noticed'! It will be updated (and completed!) eventually, I swear to it. **

**And I also have no idea whether or not the lyrics are right or not. Like Santana and Starr, I pulled them off the top of my head (well, okay, so I listened to the beginning of Darren Criss singing 'L-O-V-E', but then I couldn't tell what he was saying but that was my plan anyway), and if they're wrong they're going to stay wrong. Actually, it's probably better if they're wrong. **


End file.
